


if you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it

by weatheredlaw



Series: bigger than love [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Vibrators, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 05:37:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5485565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra’s eyes fly open, and she finds Varric Tethras standing at her doorway, staring.</p><p>She doesn’t know what to do with herself, and for a good five seconds, he stares at her while she lays in her bed, the noise of the vibrator the only sound in the room, before she shouts at him.</p><p>“<i>Get out!</i>”</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OrilliaOrange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrilliaOrange/gifts).



> orillia was my porn-spiration last night. thank you. <3 title from a really great bob's burgers episode.

“Right.” Max drops his duffel bag by the front door. “So I’ll be back, what, Monday night?”

“Tuesday morning,” Dorian says. “You’re not driving four hours in the _dark_. Idiot.”

“I’m only trying to prepare her. I don’t want to walk in while she has a _visitor_.”

“I will not be having any _visitors_ ,” Cassandra huffs.

“Yes, but you’re on vacation, you’ve got the apartment to yourself—”

Dorian sighs. “There is such a thing as _solitude_ , my dear. Haven’t you heard of it?”

“Maker, why would anyone want to spend large swaths of their time _alone?_ ”

“Who knows?” Dorian says, and smiles. “Take care, Pentaghast. Don’t have _too_ much fun without him.” He lifts his own bag and nods. “I’ll wait by the car?”

“Yes, yes.” Max waves him off before turning back to Cassandra. “You’ll be alright?”

“I have lived alone most of my adult life. I will be fine.”

“Right, no, I know. Just…new place and all.”

Cassandra folds her arms over her chest. “If you would like me to be your excuse _not_ to meet Dorian’s parents, you should just _say_ —”

“Nope. No, not having this conversation. Goodbye, my dear, farewell.” He kisses her cheek and grabs his bag. “Oh! I meant to tell you, and I forgot, of course.”

“Naturally.”

“Varric’s probably going to stop by. He loaned me some trilogy I never watched. Turns out it belongs to his ex and she wants it back, so. Didn’t say when he’d be ‘round, but he’ll probably text me when. I know you’re not a fan.”

“I did not _say_ —”

“You didn’t _have_ to, Cassandra.”

“He is…alright.”

“Oh?”

“Dorian is honking at you.”

“Yes, but I want to hear more about how you think Varric is _alright_ —”

Cassandra groans and shoves him out the door, locking it behind him.

 

̶ ̶ ̶̶̶̶

 

Moving in with Maxwell had not been Cassandra’s intention when she moved out of her last apartment. The rent spike had been unexpected, and she could hardly ask her uncle or anyone else for money when she’d made such a show of making it on her own. No, a roommate had been the sensible solution, and Max had been a friend for some time. He was young, and endlessly optimistic, but Cassandra sometimes needed that.

Just like she needs this time to herself. Alone. With zero interruptions or distractions.

And by the second day, after receiving no word that Varric would be stopping by, she assumes he won’t be. Which leaves her at liberty to enjoy certain…indulgences. With the bedroom door open. Because what does she have to hide?

Max had been upfront with her at the beginning about the vibrator. He didn’t care, he wanted her to use it, and frankly, he felt it was her civic duty to the world to masturbate.

“It keeps you _civil_ , Cassandra. And we all prefer that.”

That afternoon, after indulging in a rather long, very warm shower, Cassandra slides into her bathrobe and lounges for a bit, before retiring to her room. She lets the robe hang open as she stretches out, letting her hand travel between her legs to lazily stroke at her clit. Everything is soft and warm from the shower, clean and slick, and she is just a little wet in anticipation. It grows as she presses harder into eager flesh, before she reaches for her bedside table for her vibrator.

The first touch always makes her gasp, whether out of genuine surprise or habit now, she isn’t sure. It is pleasant, always, and instantly relaxes her. She feels her composure slip, and her mouth remains open as she breathes through the first ripples of pleasure, just enough to have her even wetter. After a few moments of lazy circles, she increases the intensity and speed, openly pleasuring herself as she reaches down with her free hand to ease one finger, then two, inside her cunt. She clenches, drawing one leg up, bent at the knee to allow her better access to fuck her own fingers. The feeling makes her smile, makes her draw the vibrator over her clit faster, eager to chase her own pleasure.

And so, she does not hear the soft opening of the door, nor does she hear the gentle steps of someone entering the apartment, or traveling back to investigate the rather out of place noises of a woman pleasuring herself in Maxwell Trevelyan’s home.

“ _Shit_ , sorry!”

Cassandra’s eyes fly open, and she finds Varric Tethras standing at her doorway, staring.

She doesn’t know what to do with herself, and for a good five seconds, he stares at her while she lays in her bed, the noise of the vibrator the only sound in the room, before she shouts at him.

“ _Get out!_ ”

“Right! Getting out, sorry! Sorry, shit, I’m so sorry!”

“ _Out!_ ”

He nods, backing up and slamming into the wall opposite her room, knocking down a picture and swearing again. He throws one last look at her, but she’s covered herself now, and is beat red.

He _runs_ , and Cassandra flinches as the door closes behind him.

 

̶ ̶ ̶̶̶̶

 

On Tuesday evening, Cassandra returns home from work to find Max back in the house, eating cereal in the living room with Dorian.

“There she is!”

Cassandra flushes.

“Oh _dear_.” Dorian raises a brow. “Did you have a visitor, then? Did you do it _on the sofa?_ ” he whispers.

“ _No_ , of course not. There were no visitors. No one came.”

Dorian chuckles. “ _Came._ ”

“Oh, stop it. She’s telling the truth. Well, Varric did come by for the movies, but he didn’t say he would. You were out then, when he did?”

“I. Yes. I was. Out. I was out.”

“You…were?”

“Yes! I said I was, so I was.” She walks down the hall to her room and slams the door, leaning against it.

“ _We’ll just wait for you to come back out and tell us what happened then!_ ” Dorian shouts.

Cassandra groans. She tosses her purse onto the bed, changes her clothes, and stalks back into the living room.

Dorian leans forward. “Were you _naked_ when he got here?”

“ _Yes._ ”

“I told you she liked him.”

“I was not trying to _seduce_ him. You never told me when he would be here, so I assumed he wouldn’t be coming.” She frowns. “ _Don’t_ say anything.”

Dorian scowls. “You never let me have any fun.”

“Were you just…naked then?” Max asks. Cassandra shakes her head. “Oh! Oh, you were doing the thing. The vibrator lady thing.”

“ _Ugh._ Yes.”

“Masturbating,” he says. “She was _masturbating._ ”

“Oh, good for you, love.”

“He _saw me._ ”

“Yes, well, I suspect it’ll fuel his you-themed fantasies for another mon— _ow!_ ” Dorian rubs his side. “That _hurt!_ ”

“You weren’t supposed to _say_ anything to her!”

Cassandra frowns. “What are you talking about?”

Max sighs. “Right. You didn’t hear this from _me._ ” He pauses. “Dorian told you. If he asks, _Dorian_ did it.”

“Yes, that sounds about right.”

“ _Get on with it_ ,” Cassandra says.

Max nods. “Varric’s got the most _awful_ crush on you. It’s depressing, really.”

“Varric doesn’t like me. He’s told me so himself. He thinks I’m bossy and pessimistic.”

Dorian shrugs. “Well you _are_ both of those things—”

“Bossy is a strong word, I’ve asked you both not to use it. We say _strong willed_ , or _prone to leadership roles._ Cassandra isn’t bossy. She’s…just the boss, I suppose. Aren’t you the boss, where you work?”

“I am not.”

“Well, you should be. Anyhow, it’s not so clear cut then, is it? Varric likes you, you think he’s alright. Clearly you’ve both got some things to work out. And now he’s seen your lady bits. Very awkward.”

“He did _not_ see—” Cassandra groans. “ _Oh_ , he _did._ This is _awful._ ”

“Well, not really,” Dorian says.

“No? I fail to see the bright side, Pavus.”

“Of course _you_ do. But now he’s had a taste—”

“He tasted _nothing._ ”

“Dorian, love, your word choice is rather poor, this evening.” Max smiles. “What I think he’s trying to say, is that Varric did, at one point, detest you. And now he can’t stop talking about you. When was the last time you saw him? Before the vibrator debacle?”

“I…do not know. The summer, perhaps?”

“Before that, I think. He was out of town all summer. And with that terrible girl.”

“Awful girl.”

“Mean girl.”

“ _Married_ girl.”

“Stop it,” Cassandra snaps.

“Sorry.” Max sighs. “Anyhow, I think…things have changed. Did he buy you a drink, last time you saw him?”

“He…did. Yes.”

“They danced, too.”

“We were very drunk.”

“Yes, but drunk words—” Max says.

Dorian finishes. “Are sober thoughts.”

Cassandra grumbles. “Drunk _dances_ are not the same.”

“No, I think they count for _double_ in the sober thoughts department, don’t they?” Max asks.

Cassandra groans and buries her face in her hands.

“I suppose,” she says, “it cannot get any worse.”

 

̶ ̶ ̶̶̶̶

 

A few weeks later, it gets worse.

“You _invited him?_ ”

“It’s _Dorian’s_ birthday, Cassandra. When it’s your birthday, we can _not_ invite whoever you’d like. But Dorian and Varric are friends, the party will be here, and the two of you will have to build a bridge and get over it. Or just _fuck_ like you want to. Do everyone a _bloody_ favor.”

“I do not want to – _ugh_ , nevermind.” She throws her hands up and slumps onto the couch. “Fine. It is fine.”

“Of course it’s fine. We can’t all let our lives revolve around your insistence that you _never_ see Varric again. Besides, he still can’t shut up about you. He hasn’t even mentioned the lady bits thing.”

“Stop saying that.”

“But I like it.”

“ _Stop._ ”

“Yes, _fine._ But only because it’s almost _your_ birthday.” Max sits beside her. “Come now. You can’t still be sore over it.”

“There was never any soreness involved.”

“Not literally, anyway.” Cassandra groans. “Listen. If you’d like, you can hide in your room until he leaves, probably depressed that you aren’t here, and then come out and we can all have a good laugh about it.”

“That sounds _terrible_.”

“Doesn’t it?” He pats her knee. “Let’s go get wine. I’ll buy your favorite, and you can just drink out of the bottle then, yeah?”

“That seems fair.”

“Good!” Max pulls on his jacket, watching her look for her boots in the pile of shoes by the door. “You know, Varric does think a lot of you, for the record. He thinks you’re clever and he likes that you see through the bullshit. I mean, let’s be real, Varric is, like, eighty percent bullshit.”

“What a fortunate skill for me to have.”

“It is. A lot of women just…eat it up, you know? Varric’s…he’s been through a lot. I think he respects that you just don’t let him lie his way through everything. He likes that.”

Cassandra pulls on her own coat, ducking her head. “Oh,” she says quietly. “I hadn’t…thought of that.”

“No,” Max says gently. “I suspect you hadn’t.”

 

 

She does not get drunk, as was expected. Instead, Cassandra remains relatively sober, and enjoys herself most of the night. Varric, in fact, is rather late. Almost two hours late, to a party guaranteed to last another six. He arrive with us usual entourage – Garrett Hawke, that sweet girl he calls Daisy, and Isabella Rivaini. They make a formidable group, and for the first forty-five minutes, he doesn’t even _see_ her.

Until he does.

He turns _pink_ , and Hawke notices.

“Oh, it’s _her._ That’s the one—”

“Where—”

“Over there, trying to hide in the kitchen—”

“Stop _pointing_ ,” Varric hisses. “Shit, leave her alone. Just…let’s get a drink.”

Cassandra flushes, and ducks into the kitchen, where Cullen and Josephine are attached at the face.

“You’ve only been here half an _hour_ ,” she says, and they pull back.

Old friends, _dear_ friends – but she wants to _strangle_ them. And it isn’t even their fault.

Cullen frowns. “Are you alright, Cassandra?”

“I’m _fine_ ,” she says, and grabs her wine. “Everything is _fine._ ”

Josephine sighs. “Is he here, then? I heard you…had an awkward encounter with Var—”

Cassandra _growls_ , and Josephine closes her mouth.

She’s going to _murder_ her roommate.

Or his boyfriend. Whoever she finds first.

“How many people know?” she asks, grabbing Dorian by the scruff of his neck.

“Not…a lot.”

“ _Pavus._ ”

“Some. Several people here. I didn’t go into _details,_ I only said—”

“He only said nothing. The details of your encounter were never told in any sort of specifics,” Max says quickly, rescuing Dorian from Cassandra’s rage. “Stop being _awful_ , and just go talk to him, for the Maker’s sake.”

“How much coin do you stand to win if I do?”

“None, actually. Though Cullen does, if you, you know, _do it._ I only want you to stop being so embarrassed. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of, Cassandra.”

“I am _not_ ashamed—” She flushes. “It was…a private moment. My _own_ moment. To know it may be fodder for gossip, or—”

“No one here knows.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“You seem to.”

Dorian huffs. “This isn’t about everyone else. It’s about _him._ She likes him just as much, and she’s afraid to say it,” he snaps.

“I…”

“How about,” Max says quietly, “you go to your room. And perhaps someone will suggest to Varric that he…stop by. Very soon. Just to talk,” he adds. “Because I think you should. I _really_ think you should. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes,” Cassandra says quietly. “Yes, it’s fine.”

“Alright then.” Max leans forward and kisses her forehead. “You go along. I’ll have him there soon.”

 

̶ ̶ ̶̶̶̶

 

Cassandra is sitting up perfectly straight on the edge of her bed when someone knocks. “Come in,” she says.

Varric opens the door, and stands awkward just outside her room before stepping inside and closing the door.

“Figured I’d knock,” he says weakly.

Cassandra buries her face in her hands.

“I’m sorry!” he says quickly. “I know I…said it a lot. But I am. Really. About the whole thing. You haven’t lived here very long, and I just…sort of forgot. I’ve had a key for ages, you know.” He sighs.

Cassandra nods. “I know.”

“Are you…shit, of course you’re upset. I just _stared_ at you.”

“I am sure I did not make it easy to look away.”

“Uh, no. No you didn’t. Not that it was your fault,” he adds. “That was all on me. I, uh. I should have stopped. Looking.I should have stopped looking, and you just…you were good. You were fine. You…it’s your space. I walked into it.”

“You did.”

“And I am very sorry.”

“You have mentioned that.”

“Well. Just in case you wanted to hear it again.”

Cassandra sighs. “I do not. There’s nothing to forgive. I was embarrassed, that’s all. More so…after.”

“After?”

“Dorian…let certain things slip.”

Varric growls. “He’s such a shit.”

“He is,” she agrees. “But it…helped me understand a few things myself.”

“Such as?”

“Such as…how I feel for you, perhaps.”

“Like just how _much_ you can’t stand me now?” Cassandra shakes her head. “No?”

“No.”

“Oh. Well. That’s…different.” He smiles. “I…can also stand you. Quite a lot, actually. You’ve been calling me out from the start. Pissed me off, at first.” He laughs. “But now it’s…endearing.”

“I’ve never been called endearing before.”

“No? You should be. You’ve got that look.” He angles himself toward her. “Listen, I…I don’t want to be too forward with you, but I’ve just…I’ve wanted to know ever since the first time I thought about you and—” He flushes. “Ah, shit. Not a good way to start this.”

“You have seen me naked,” she deadpans.

“Among other things.” Cassandra rolls her eyes. “Right. So I guess what I’m trying to say is I…think about you. A lot.”

“I think about you as well, lately.”

“Naked, I hope.”

“Yes, Varric. I think about you naked.”

“I meant while _you’re_ naked, but if you wanna get all perverted—”

“Shut up,” she mutters, and leans forward to kiss him.

It is slow, at first, up until the moment it is _not._ Varric groans, pushing his hands under her shirt to hold her waist, and Cassandra gasps – his palms are warm, and she is cold. She shivers.

“Shit,” he murmurs.

“I know.”

“Better than a fantasy.”

“We shall see about that,” Cassandra says quietly.

“Hey.” He pulls back. “We don’t have to take this much further—”

“You have _seen_ me, Varric. If it’s quite alright—” She tilts her head to kiss his neck, nipping gently at the curve of his shoulder. “I would like to see you as well.”

“It’s more than alright, _believe_ me.”

“Good. Go lock the door.”

“Everyone’s gonna know.”

“Eveyone already does. Besides.” She leans back as he stands to turn the latch. “They will be too drunk in another hour to discern fact from fiction.”

“Keep ‘em guessing. I like it.”

“I like _you_ ,” she says.

“Don’t worry.” Varric comes back to the bed and crawls toward her. “The feeling is mutual.” He kisses her _expansively_ , taking his time, drawing her bottom lip into his mouth and giving it a tug. Cassandra’s mouth feels hot, her hands tremble against him. She has come to _adore_ him, in the last few minutes, more than she thought she ever could. He’s gentle, but firm where he should be, and when she draws her knee up between his own, grinding it against his cock, his moans. “ _Yeah._ ”

“Touch me,” she says. She takes his hand and pushes it under the waistband of her leggings, shoving her underwear down and letting him feel.

“Fuck, you’re wet. You’re so _wet._ ”

“Make me come, Varric, _please_ —”

“No.”

“ _What?_ ” Cassandra almost sits up, nearly knocking him off of her. He chuckles.

“I mean…I want you to finish what you had started. When I walked in on you.”

“I did,” she says dryly.

“Yeah, but—” He kisses her, and she _moans._ “I want to see. I want to watch you.” Cassandra nods, and Varric shifts so she can shed her leggings and underwear before tossing them onto the floor. The soft light of her lamp bathes them both, almost like a fire crackling in a hearth. Varric leans back, and Cassandra spreads her legs, letting him see. He hums appreciatively. “Beautiful. I thought about it so much, I know I shouldn’t have—”

“Did you come?” she asks. “When you thought of me?”

“Every time.”

“I’d like to see that.”

He smiles, presses a kiss to her knee. “Sure thing. You first.” Cassandra sighs, sliding her fingers against her clit as he watches. “Where is it? Where’s—” Cassandra scrambles with her free hand for her bedside table, yanking out her vibrator and turning it on. “Fuck. Fuck that’s good. Come on, let me see.” She nods, pressing it to her clit and turning it on, gasping as the sensations roll through her. It’s different, with him _really_ watching, and she thinks she might come right there. He squeezes her legs, massaging her thighs as she moans, low and quiet for him. “Have you thought about me?”

“ _Maker_ , yes—”

“Did you think about me watching you?” She nods. “Did you think about me tasting you? Putting my mouth on you? I want to, Cassandra. I _desperately_ want to. I think about how you might taste, when I close my eyes. I think about how you might _feel_ , when I finally fuck you. That’s what you want, right? You want my cock? You want me inside of you?”

“ _Yes, Varric, please_ —”

“Not until you come. Not until I _see_ it, Cassandra. Fuck, please, let me see you come, _let me see_ —”

Cassandra cries out, her orgasm rolling through her as he groans and leans forward, forehead pressed against her knees. “ _Fuck_ , that’s good. I could watch you all day.”

“Now you,” she says, turning the vibrator off and practically throwing it onto the table. “You. Touch yourself. Let me see.”

“I want to fuck you.”

“I want to _see_ , Varric. Do not worry,” she murmurs, stroking his cheek. “You will get your chance.”

“Shit, woman. Are you trying to kill me?”

“No. I want to see you touch yourself. That is all.” She kisses him, and Varric frantically reaches for the buttons of his jeans, unzipping them and practically falling over when he gets up to shuck them off. “There is time—”

“Not really, because I seriously _want_ to fuck you, and I might come in the next, like, fifteen seconds.”

“You won’t. You’ll get what you want,” she says. “I promise.”

Varric grasps his cock, gently in his hand, and moans. “Shit.” Cassandra kisses him as he touches himself, looking down between them to watch his hand slide over his erection, thumb ghosting over the tip. She thinks about taking him into her mouth, but there is always next time, she reasons. Because there will certainly _be_ a next time.

“Can I—”

“Fuck, _please_.” Cassandra smiles and reaches down to touch him, and he moans louder, burying his face in her neck. “I need you. Cassandra, I _need_ you.”

“Yes,” she pants, kissing him. “Yes, I know.” She pulls back, spreading her legs and scrambling in her bedside table again for a condom, wrenching open the package. She rolls it onto him carefully, looking straight him as she does. “Fuck me,” she says. “ _Now._ ”

Varric doesn’t even say another word as he settles between her legs, shoves her knees back, and pushes into her.

Cassandra’s voice catches in her throat. To her credit, she does not scream.

And then he begins _pounding_ her, a relentless, brutal pace that jolts her entire body, makes her mouth hang open in a silent cry.

“Oh, _fuck_ , yes. _Yes, yes, yes_ —” Varric’s mouth falls open, crying out as she clenches around him. “You feel so fucking good, you feel amazing, _fuck_ —”

“Come, Varric, come for me—”

“Can you—”

“ _Yes_ , I can, oh _Maker_ , I can, just—” She reaches down to touch herself, and she can feels his cock moving in and out of her, and it makes it even easier, makes her wetter, somehow. “I’m going to, _Varric,_ I—” She gasps, and it washes over her, forces her back to arc up, taking him deeper, clamping down on him. Varric groans and stills, holding himself inside her as he chases his release.

For a moment, that is all there is. The party continues on from the other side of the apartment, and Cassandra has never been more grateful for her little room tucked away in the corner.

Not that what they are up to is likely to be a _secret._ And about that, she doesn’t care. Still. She would prefer Dorian have as little cannon fodder as possible, come morning.

“ _Shit_ ,” Varric mutters, and finally pulls out. He groans and gets up to rid himself of the condom before collapsing back onto her bed. “I mean. _Shit._ ”

“It _was_ very good, wasn’t it?”

“Uh, _yeah._ ” He laughs, crawling up to lay beside her. They must be a sight, naked from the waist down, stretched out in her bed. “Fuck, I drove everyone here.”

“Did you?”

“I did. I can’t stay the night.”

“No,” she agrees. “You can’t. But perhaps I will come over tomorrow?”

“Yes.” He sits up quickly, looking for his boxers and jeans. “Yes, absolutely. Shit, I’m glad we’re on, like, actual speaking terms.”

“I believe we are on more than that, Varric.”

“No, right. I just—” He rubs the back of his neck. “I know I said some mean thing.”

“We both did.”

“It kind of surprised me when you were the one I started thinking about a while back.”

“How long has it been?”

“I don’t know. Too long? Too long to have not said a damn thing to you.”

“I agree.” She sits up and dresses, bending down to kiss her cheek. “Let’s not keep things like that from one another.”

“Oh, believe me. I’m never keeping a fantasy from you ever. Not when you seem so, ah, _agreeable._ ”

Cassandra sighs. Her legs ache, but she doesn’t mind. “I suppose we should go back.”

“Yeah, probably.” He pulls her down to kiss her again. “I’m _real_ glad you like me so much.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Cassandra says, and takes his hand, leading him back to the party.


End file.
